25-04-2006, 12:12 PM
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, margarine cups will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child...pick your favorite."
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses".
On landing the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you are going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have".
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal".
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
Airline Acronyms. Not quite the way it is written on the side of the aircraft..
Aer Lingus
Arousing Erotic Randy Ladies In Nice Green Uniform Suits
Alitalia
Always Late In Transit, Always Late In Arrival
Airplane Landed In Tokyo And luggage In Alaska
BA
Bloody Awful
British Apoplectic
Bad Attitude
DHL
Damaged, Hidden or Lost
KLM
Kamikaze Loving Maniacs
Lot
Landing On Templehof (In the early '80 few planes from LOT were hijacked to the West Berlin and almost always landed at Templehof airfield.)
Lots Of Trouble
Lufthansa
Let Us **** The Hostess And Not Say Anything
Pan Am
Pilots Are Not A Must
Poor Airline Needs Any Money
Sabena
Such A Bad Experience - Never Again
Select A Better European National Airline
SAS
Sweet And Sexy
Service After Sex
Sex And Satisfaction
Varig
Virgin's Are Rare In Glasgow
Post Edited ( 04-25-06 13:13 )
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, margarine cups will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child...pick your favorite."
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses".
On landing the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you are going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have".
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal".
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
Airline Acronyms. Not quite the way it is written on the side of the aircraft..
Aer Lingus
Arousing Erotic Randy Ladies In Nice Green Uniform Suits
Alitalia
Always Late In Transit, Always Late In Arrival
Airplane Landed In Tokyo And luggage In Alaska
BA
Bloody Awful
British Apoplectic
Bad Attitude
DHL
Damaged, Hidden or Lost
KLM
Kamikaze Loving Maniacs
Lot
Landing On Templehof (In the early '80 few planes from LOT were hijacked to the West Berlin and almost always landed at Templehof airfield.)
Lots Of Trouble
Lufthansa
Let Us **** The Hostess And Not Say Anything
Pan Am
Pilots Are Not A Must
Poor Airline Needs Any Money
Sabena
Such A Bad Experience - Never Again
Select A Better European National Airline
SAS
Sweet And Sexy
Service After Sex
Sex And Satisfaction
Varig
Virgin's Are Rare In Glasgow
Post Edited ( 04-25-06 13:13 )
Joey Tempest, you actually wrote the soundtrack to my life and I thank you for this with all of my heart...
__________________________________________________________________________
LOT Polish Airlines Flight Attendant: B737, EMB-145, EMB-170
__________________________________________________________________________
LOT Polish Airlines Flight Attendant: B737, EMB-145, EMB-170
![[-]](http://www.fspassengers.com/forum/images/collapse.png)
![[Image: BS_No.gif]](http://www.americanpatrol.com/_icons/BS_No.gif){kind=icon}
![[Image: 080725_helmet_3.jpg]](http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f129/SO-Xhado/080725_helmet_3.jpg)