Airline Laughs

[Bronco]

And more funny stuff


Tower: H-CM, the airfield is at your 2 o`clock position.
Pilot: Roger, is that local time or UTC?


Pilot: Good morning, Frankfurt ground, KLM242 request start-up and push-back, please.
Ground: KLM242, due to slot, expect start-up in two hours.
Pilot: Please confirm, two hours delay?
Ground: Affirmative.
Pilot: In that case, cancel the good morning.


Tower: N345E, go around, go around, your gear is up!!!
Pilot: Tower, can you say again, this horn is making such a noise.


ATC: Cessna 1234 What are your intentions?
Cessna: To get my Commercial Pilots License and Instrument Rating.
ATC: Cessna 1234 I meant in the next five minutes not years.


Controller:
"Franceair 1234 confirm your type of aircraft. Are you an Airbus 330 or a 340?"
Pilot:
"A 340 of course."
Controller:
"Then would you mind switching on the two other engines and give me a 1000 feet per minute, please.



Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky

What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, . the pilot dies.

I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous

Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it.
The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space.
It is much more difficult to fly there.

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.